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Breaking the News

Telling the rest of my family was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. I’ve had to tell them new happening’s in my health before like when I found out I had Liver Cirrhosis, being advised I have CF related Diabetes, Osteoporosis, and a few other issues that make life that little more interesting. But for some reason I just felt sick to my stomach that I had to present this diagnosis. Maybe because to me this felt more life threatening than anything I was already dealing with. Maybe it goes back to what I had said earlier in thinking that I had life sorted with CF and this just threw me for a six. Either way I knew I had to do it. I opted out of telling mum at my Gran’s 80th celebration (even though I was quite hung over and couldn’t look her in the eye as I felt like a naughty child hiding something I had done wrong!) I opted out on Sunday as that was Mother’s Day and was very grateful when mum said to spend the day with my boys and she would catch me for coffee or something during the week! So I guess I took advantage of the fact that we decided to go to the gold class to catch a movie instead. Although I wasn’t sure I intended to tell her then I did realise that there really isn’t a great time to have a conversation such as this and then I realised how upset I had been at the way my mum had had this exact conversation with me almost 12 years ago when she told me that she had Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, and then again when she had to tell me she had Breast Cancer. I’m sure if I asked she would have said that she had that same gut wrenching turn in her stomach every time she thought about breaking the news!

So in that respect Mum was a little easier to tell as I technically did not have to tell her. She always seems to know when I need to tell her something but may not want to! Mothers intuition I think they call that. I had asked several questions about her health and then she had the moment of guessing before I had to say the words. Her response was “I’m sorry that you have to deal with that also!, I have given you shit genes”. “Well they certainly were not designer jeans that you gave me lol”.  We discussed a few things around surgeons and specialists all which were unknown to me at the time as it was all still relatively new and I had an appointment for surgeon the following Thursday but that was the extent of my knowledge. Turns out we have the same surgeon! That was Mum, I still had Dad to go….

Dad was a completely different story. He’s been battling his own health issues after a near 7 month stay in hospital. Having been very healthy all his life he was not so easily dealing with being so unwell. We had had a telephone conversation earlier that afternoon so I decided that was the best time to organise to meet up. I met him over at my Nana’s as that’s where he had been spending his afternoon’s. We sat down to a very lengthy conversation where we discussed his health and mine and I eventually broke the news! His reaction was what I expected and was very shocked and not sure on how to take the news. Knowing that Dad wouldn’t be able to process the diagnosis so well,  I opted to take the higher ground and pretend that the diagnosis did not really bother me and that it was just another hurdle for me to jump in life (this was true but it was also new and shocking to me at the same time, and to act like I didn’t care at all was certainly very hard!).

So I had two of the more important conversations. Thankfully my Husband who is very supportive proceeded to tell others that are close to us so that I did not need to have those conversations. To ensure it was not that elephant in the room during conversations (some knew but were not sure if it was common knowledge or whether they were supposed to be aware so our conversations had been a little not awkward but different).

Then there was Brady. What to do? Do we tell a then 7year old what is really happening in our lives?. We opted with No! Brett and I decided that we may need to have that conversation later on depending on outcomes and if further treatment was required. But for now he can just concentrate on being a child and planning his upcoming birthday!. We didn’t expect that he had already picked up that something was wrong as he had seen us upset. So I tackled that with the Mummy had been to the Dr’s and found out that she may feel a little more sick than she normally does and so Mummy was a little upset. Sometimes when grownups get upset it can make others around them get upset too. Similar to when Mummy watches the TV and cries for no reason (Feelings can be a little silly like that). So Daddy and our friends cried because Mummy was crying. You will find these things out when you get much bigger. He was quite happy with that response and didn’t ask anything further.

Next was to meet with the surgeon on the following Thursday and I was feeling a little anxious about that …

Comments

Shelley Scott
June 13, 2017 at 11:49 pm

The way you are dealing with this is phenomenal Cemon. You are a brave, sensible, strong woman. You rock lady. I know you will beat this because you deserve to.



CF Plus One
June 14, 2017 at 11:02 am

Thank you Shelley xx



Alana
June 19, 2017 at 1:37 pm

Well you are more than brave, so excited to see you soon for a well overdue catch up. Makes all the little things in life we stress over mean nothing when I read you blog. If only I had half the strength you have xxxxx



Christine Dolliver
June 19, 2017 at 4:17 pm

Oh Hun bet that was harder telling Mum and Dad than being told yourself as you are always protecting them.
Think you handled Brady very well and yes let him be the delightful little man (or not so little man) he is. Kids can be resilient, but sometime there is a time and place to tell him. And you will know when it is that time.
So proud of you – keep fighting the fight and I’m always here if you need anything.
xoxo



Verne Larkins
June 28, 2017 at 7:11 am

Honey, I knew I had stuffed up telling you and your brother the news, but as you say, there is no easy way to have that conversation. I chose a place where it would be too hard for me to cry as I would not want people watching us and like you, wanted to show you that it didn’t matter that I had this horrible disease, my focus was going to be life as normal and this was just another hiccup on the road they call life.
For over 11 years now, I have wished and wished I could go back and change the way I did that. But I was also remembering the way I had had a similar conversation with someone who made a big drama out of it, which turned out to be wrong.
Please try not to close out those that love you as you continue to go through this, we are all here to support you and love you and for me to get my hands on my grandson as much as I can.
One piece of advice I can give you, (I think I might have already), is be kind to yourself as much as you can. Rest, pamper yourself and above all, know that I love you more than life itself. xxx



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