Telling the rest of my family was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. I’ve had to tell them new happening’s in my health before like when I found out I had Liver Cirrhosis, being advised I have CF related Diabetes, Osteoporosis, and a few other issues that make life that little more interesting. But for some reason I just felt sick to my stomach that I had to present this diagnosis. Maybe because to me this felt more life threatening than anything I was already dealing with. Maybe it goes back to what I had said earlier in thinking that I had life sorted with CF and this just threw me for a six. Either way I knew I had to do it. I opted out of telling mum at my Gran’s 80th celebration (even though I was quite hung over and couldn’t look her in the eye as I felt like a naughty child hiding something I had done wrong!) I opted out on Sunday as that was Mother’s Day and was very grateful when mum said to spend the day with my boys and she would catch me for coffee or something during the week! So I guess I took advantage of the fact that we decided to go to the gold class to catch a movie instead. Although I wasn’t sure I intended to tell her then I did realise that there really isn’t a great time to have a conversation such as this and then I realised how upset I had been at the way my mum had had this exact conversation with me almost 12 years ago when she told me that she had Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, and then again when she had to tell me she had Breast Cancer. I’m sure if I asked she would have said that she had that same gut wrenching turn in her stomach every time she thought about breaking the news!
So in that respect Mum was a little easier to tell as I technically did not have to tell her. She always seems to know when I need to tell her something but may not want to! Mothers intuition I think they call that. I had asked several questions about her health and then she had the moment of guessing before I had to say the words. Her response was “I’m sorry that you have to deal with that also!, I have given you shit genes”. “Well they certainly were not designer jeans that you gave me lol”. We discussed a few things around surgeons and specialists all which were unknown to me at the time as it was all still relatively new and I had an appointment for surgeon the following Thursday but that was the extent of my knowledge. Turns out we have the same surgeon! That was Mum, I still had Dad to go….
Dad was a completely different story. He’s been battling his own health issues after a near 7 month stay in hospital. Having been very healthy all his life he was not so easily dealing with being so unwell. We had had a telephone conversation earlier that afternoon so I decided that was the best time to organise to meet up. I met him over at my Nana’s as that’s where he had been spending his afternoon’s. We sat down to a very lengthy conversation where we discussed his health and mine and I eventually broke the news! His reaction was what I expected and was very shocked and not sure on how to take the news. Knowing that Dad wouldn’t be able to process the diagnosis so well, I opted to take the higher ground and pretend that the diagnosis did not really bother me and that it was just another hurdle for me to jump in life (this was true but it was also new and shocking to me at the same time, and to act like I didn’t care at all was certainly very hard!).
So I had two of the more important conversations. Thankfully my Husband who is very supportive proceeded to tell others that are close to us so that I did not need to have those conversations. To ensure it was not that elephant in the room during conversations (some knew but were not sure if it was common knowledge or whether they were supposed to be aware so our conversations had been a little not awkward but different).
Then there was Brady. What to do? Do we tell a then 7year old what is really happening in our lives?. We opted with No! Brett and I decided that we may need to have that conversation later on depending on outcomes and if further treatment was required. But for now he can just concentrate on being a child and planning his upcoming birthday!. We didn’t expect that he had already picked up that something was wrong as he had seen us upset. So I tackled that with the Mummy had been to the Dr’s and found out that she may feel a little more sick than she normally does and so Mummy was a little upset. Sometimes when grownups get upset it can make others around them get upset too. Similar to when Mummy watches the TV and cries for no reason (Feelings can be a little silly like that). So Daddy and our friends cried because Mummy was crying. You will find these things out when you get much bigger. He was quite happy with that response and didn’t ask anything further.
Next was to meet with the surgeon on the following Thursday and I was feeling a little anxious about that …